Resentment

Years ago, before Matt and I were married, we were at a engagement party for some very good friends of ours, Ashley and Kalif.  It may have been a co-ed bridal shower, I forget.  During the party we all played split into girls versus boys in some sort of game where each side had to think of questions the other side couldn't answer.  Throughout the party we had to think of questions as we all ate and drank and mingled with each other.  Matt and I, margarita in hands, perused the food and chit chatted about random things.  This particular night there was a college football game that went into a sextuple overtime, yes, that's six overtimes.  Most of the guys there were holed up in a room watching the game.  Needless to say football was a topic of conversation throughout the whole house.  I don't watch college football, but I do get into NFL games.  I'm the crazy girl jumping up and down screaming, "RUUUNNN!!!" at the tv.  Matt and I started talking about football.  During that conversation I remember Matt randomly telling me that John Madden used to coach the Green Bay Packers.  Not one who follows such things kind of said, "huh .. didn't know that," and took a sip of my margarita.  We went on to other deep and mind blowing conversation topics I won't bore you with.  Towards the end of the evening it was time to to play the game.  Come to think of it I wonder if everyone was waiting on that sextuple overtime game to finally finish.  Anyhow, questions start getting fired left and right and we're all having a good time, laughing ..mainly at each other's team.  Then all of the sudden I hear, "Did John Madden ever coach for the Green Bay Packers?"  I almost dropped my margarita.  I turned to my fellow teammates wide eyed and a bit crazed saying, "he did! he did! Matt and I JUST LITERALLY talked about this earlier tonight!!"  I couldn't believe the coincidence.  So in all my mighty confidence my team believed me and answered that he did, indeed, coach the Green Bay Packers.  Then all of the sudden all the guys nearly fall over laughing.  I particularly remember one guy pointing, laughing, saying, "SHENANIGANS!!!"  I was floored.  Completely confused.  I quickly realized that Matt, the mole that he apparently was, played me like a freaking violin.  The love of my life, the man I trusted above all else, except maybe equal to my own father, secretly planted that tid bit of information in what I though was an innocent, random conversation.  I can't remember if the girls ended up losing the game, but I still remember feeling like a big, fat idiot.  So .. this brings me resentment.  Resentment may be too harsh of a word.  I just know that I don't want to hold on to things that when I look back it's with unhappy thoughts.  I want to be able to let go of things that don't go my way.  People take advantage, even if it's an innocent game with the person you claim to love (ah-hem!).  It's not always easy, but this is something I want to work on this year.  Things like resentment can eat at you like rust.  Slow moving and toxic.  I am happy to say that between Matt and I this story is about as bad as it gets when it comes to resentment.  I obviously still married him .. but with one eye opened whenever we play games. ;)