How do you solve a problem like Maria?

"Honey, can I get a 'Maria'?" "What's a 'Maria'?" he asks ....

It has come to my attention that my sister in law has a housecleaner that comes twice a month and is named Maria. I am told she does an exceptional job. While being told about how great she was I was looking around my house and thinking how I could use someone exceptional to pick up after me, my hubby, my 22 month old, and my "shedding ass dog" as my mother in law puts it. Nevermind that I work part-time from home and if I put my back into it, could get this house absolutely spotless. I'd rather watch Ellen with Gwyn. She'll only want to cuddle on the couch with me for a little while longer ... the dishes will always be there waiting for me .. taunting me ... calling me 'Maria'.